CHORUS
It's that time of year to write our Christmas letter
And that's okay; there's nothin' bad to say
We're doing well; couldn't get a whole lot better
Except for a few things that did not go our way
VERSE
I lost my job, and I haven't been able to find one
A robot took my place; about made me come undone
The wife's still working, but she's had to file a "me, too"
Her boss wants her to meet him at a clandestine rendezvous
SOLO/VERSE
Our boy got thrown out of school for breakin' some rules
Seems he was sellin' copies of the physics test
And our daughter? She's getting a divorce, of course
And bringing her three home; now that might cause some mild unrest
SOLO/VERSE
Values going down; taxes going up
They say I can't keep my car unless I make the payments
Last night, I went to cryin' like a poor little whipped pup
When they said I was the respondent and not the complainant
Repeat CHORUS/TAG
The usual recipients of our Christmas letter
Oh, yes, they should be feelin' pretty good right now
Email's no good 'cause our computer broke down
And I don't have any stamps to mail it
So you won't be getting our Christmas letter this year
Spoken: You can say it now; oh, joy, oh, joy...
Words & Music by Don Tomlinson
UMC © 2023 & SR © 2025 Solid Sterling Music (BMI)
All Rights Reserved.
Metadata:
Legal: One-stop contracting.
Own rights to UMC and SR.
Contact phone number: 832.444.4848 (text/mobile)
Email: don@solidsterlingmusic.com
Mood: Christmas letter with a serious twist...
Length: 4:29
ISRC: QZ37R2300058
BMI: 62369303
ISWC: T3186826502
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